Nov.10 happy B-Day to me
Hi ya'll,
Welll it is official today I am a year older and more jaded. I turned 34 years old today...sigh..this sucks. On the bright side this morning as I was waking up my hunny came in with a mini cake( bout the size of a big cupcake) from Panera bread, and woke me up by pouncing on the bed and singing Happy B-day to me. I love that lil devil
Most people worry about getting old, I am not really all that concerned about it, 1 step closer to Social Security I suppose.
I am down approximately 137 lbs and am I think a bit of where i am supposed to be at this point.
Someone asked I had any negative feeling about my size before the surgery , and I said yes. I wrote these 2 poems about how I thought I was being judged. Let me Know what you think.
TRAPPED
I sit here
Inside a body that betrays me
Fights against my every effort
I stand hereIn constant pain
Gravity pulling me down
My leaden body aching
I walk here
Struggling to keep up
The pain searing through my every step
I no longer run here
These chains bind me fast
Restricting my efforts to escape
I kneel here
Brought to my knees, tears streaming
My once iron will now crumbled and broken
I lay here
Clawing and scratching to escape
My body a prison
Trapped within myself
JUDGEMENT
When you look at me
What do you see?
Have you already judged me?
Only from what you have seen?
I AM more than that!
You only see my shell, my shame
Inside is my true self
A diamond in the rough
I am clever, loving , loyal
If you took the time to know ME
I might be the most interesting person you've met
But still you judge by my shell
Can't seem to see past the visual
Looking at me with disgust
Dismissing me, Dehumanizing me
All without a spoken word to me
Welll it is official today I am a year older and more jaded. I turned 34 years old today...sigh..this sucks. On the bright side this morning as I was waking up my hunny came in with a mini cake( bout the size of a big cupcake) from Panera bread, and woke me up by pouncing on the bed and singing Happy B-day to me. I love that lil devil
Most people worry about getting old, I am not really all that concerned about it, 1 step closer to Social Security I suppose.
I am down approximately 137 lbs and am I think a bit of where i am supposed to be at this point.
Someone asked I had any negative feeling about my size before the surgery , and I said yes. I wrote these 2 poems about how I thought I was being judged. Let me Know what you think.
TRAPPED
I sit here
Inside a body that betrays me
Fights against my every effort
I stand hereIn constant pain
Gravity pulling me down
My leaden body aching
I walk here
Struggling to keep up
The pain searing through my every step
I no longer run here
These chains bind me fast
Restricting my efforts to escape
I kneel here
Brought to my knees, tears streaming
My once iron will now crumbled and broken
I lay here
Clawing and scratching to escape
My body a prison
Trapped within myself
JUDGEMENT
When you look at me
What do you see?
Have you already judged me?
Only from what you have seen?
I AM more than that!
You only see my shell, my shame
Inside is my true self
A diamond in the rough
I am clever, loving , loyal
If you took the time to know ME
I might be the most interesting person you've met
But still you judge by my shell
Can't seem to see past the visual
Looking at me with disgust
Dismissing me, Dehumanizing me
All without a spoken word to me
posted by Jim_Greensboro | 5:28 PM
8 Comments:
Happy B-day sweetie... and I'm not a lil devil.
You know, for someone not concerned about getting old, you were making an awful big stink about it Wednesday! lol (kidding hun) Hey, at least you'll admit how old you are, right? Unlike some other people we know. (;-) at Woody)
Wish I could have gotten you a better cake- or made one- but I figured something small like that was a better idea, considering.
You know, as good as those poems are, I think you ought to think about writing something about the way you feel now- or where you will be presently, if you can't muster up the enthusiasm for something more upbeat about your present size.
Oh, and everybody out there? Just letting you know that Eeyore is not dead, he is, in fact, live and well and reappears, apparently, on birthdays. Kinda like Elvis.
A-hu-huh-huh. (Ooooh, Ima gonna die.....)
Happy (day late) Birthday, Jim! I'm afraid my magical mental birthday calendar isn't so magical these days.
Your poems resonated loudly with me, mano. I think we're quite a bunch: Almost everyone in this group has some sort of society-imposed insecurity that hobbles them to one extent or another. Guess that's why we all get along so well. Just know that you have a group of friends that try not to prejudge anyone based on outward appearance or behavioral tic. Sometimes we fail, but everyone in this group does try. And to hell with the rest of the world. ;-)
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Happy Berfday (day late, even!)
No worries about the getting old thing - it's not the age, it's the shoe size! no wait.. that's all wrong...
nevermind...
Happy Berfday, though...
and yeah - as for your poems - I have been there a time or two. Don't like talking about it much, either.
You're older than you've ever been
And now you're even older
now you're even older
now you're even older
You're older than you've ever been
And now you're even older
and now you're older still
yes , woody But you are still older than ME!!!!
Time
Is marching on
And time
Is still marching on
I loved the poems and so feel those words , really deep
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