Becoming half the man I used to be!

howdy

2006-08-13T15:14:00.000-05:00

Just an update i guess. Life is pretty much the same. BUSY< BUSY< BUSY!

see ya'll later
Jim

hi

2006-06-22T20:34:00.000-05:00

I am down 225-230ish at the moment. Not really in much of a mood to type. will update when I feel more talkative.

later
Gareth

HI ya'll

2006-05-23T19:55:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't updated in a while but we have been busy. I got offered a position in the student help desk department here in IT. I took it and am really enjoying learning new stuff. Thanks Woody, George, Rob and Brandi for encouraging me to try out for it! Now I hope I am good enough after my probationary period that I can eventuallly parley this into a full time position.

update so far

2006-05-04T11:41:00.000-05:00

Hi all,

Justa quick post to let you all know what is going on in my life. I am now sitting at a total loss of 210 which brings my BMI( body mass index) to 52.8, not bad considering it started out at 81.3. I am not super happy about how much I have lost this month, but my measurement have shown that where i am not losing lbs i am losing inches. Also I am working out more and doing more walking, so I think I am gaining muscle mass and it doesn't really reflect on the scales you know. But it does affect the tape measure! Welll I will update later I guess. I need to finish filling out an application for a new help desk position( hope I get it).

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!

2006-03-27T12:46:00.000-05:00

Ok, This morning before I went to work, my lovely wife, Brandi, and I stopped off at the Diabetic center to get me weighed for the week. Now I have had really bad kidney stones for about 2 weeks now, and the antibiotics were messing with my system, pretty much stuffing me up, if you get my meaning. But I have been drinking TONS of water to try and flush out those painful lil buggers out of my kidneys. I haven't been feeling like eat much for the past week, and Brandi understood, pain does that to me, why eat if you feel so nausiated that you don't know if you will keep it down anyway? So as to speed things along with the anitibiotics I have been eating some bad things, things that would normally now send me running to the bathroom within an hour, to get things going once again. But I digress......meanwhile back at the diabetic center this morning as I got weighed. I had to do it 3 time just to make sure, I have finally hit the 200 lbs mile marker, pasted it actually, I am sitting at 399lbs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!???????? I realy don't know what to say here, I am in awe!!! 200 lbs in 9 months, HOLY FREAKING CRAP BATMAN!!!

Well I have to go do some cartwheels now, be back soon.

Jim

weighed today

2006-03-15T12:12:00.000-05:00

Before going to work this morning I stopped of at the Diabetic center to get weighed. I am now sitting at 410, which means i am 190 lbs down. Needless to say i am pretty happy today. My wife says when i hit the 200 lbs make she is gonna throw a party. I told her I wanted to go to a strip club.... she laughed at me.....sigh. Channeling Rodney Dangerfield... no respect...no respect at all!!! I am feeling alot better over all, and am getting around great. Things I would never have considered doing I am now doing on a regular basis. I am hoping I can ride a bike soonly, not sure what the weight limit is on them though. I know pretty much for sure that it will have to be a beach cruiser type bike, because then I can have the wide seat to fit my still big , but rapidly dwindling butt.

My friend Woody wants me to eventually try fencing with him. Still kinda out on this issue. I think it would be fun, but not sure i am all THAT mobile yet. I may be able to move a bit better but hey I have to admit, trying to fence with size 14 feet is not gonna be fun. Kinda like olympic fencing with Ronald McDonald... I might wear the wig ontop of the helmet just to distract him....lol.

Well I am off for a little while , see you next time on ......"The Incredible Shrinking Man!"

hi ya'll

2006-03-01T11:09:00.000-05:00

Ok, some recent news about me. My wife and I went shopping for pants for me this weekend, because mine were about to fall off. Brandi said it was time to buy a pair or pay a ticket for indecent exposure. Well when we got there and tried stuff on, I was pretty amazed to find out how much my weight loss has begun to show, I was able to get into a pair of 2X sweatpants. Now just 7 months ago I was wearing 5X, and I have to say I am pretty proud of myself. I was trying on jeans too, I could fit pretty good in a pair of 62's but definatly not in the 58's I tried, probably could do a pair of 60's with elastic around the waist. Gonna put off buying more jeans right now though, too expensive to buy something I am not gonna fit into in just a few months, you know? I went from a 6X shirt to a 4X, but am putting off buying shirts for just a lil while.

I am, as of monday, down 183, which brings me to 417 lbs. WOOOOOHOOO!!!!! If I work really hard and eat right and work out a bit more I might actually make it to 200 lbs lost by my 8 month anniversary on the 7th of march. Now that would be really cool, 8 months out and down 1/3 of my body weight.

Another really proud moment I had this week. I went to my apartment complex gym, and got on the tredmill. I walked 1 mile!!!!! Haven't done that in a very long time. Then I lifted weights for another 30-45 mins , and then walked home. Wow, definately make major progress. The next morning I was a lil sore in the joints , but once I got moving I was pretty much ok.

Well I will write again as soon as someting else exciting happens

ok, ok, i updated

2006-02-22T20:18:00.000-05:00

I know I haven't updated lately. Despite what my wife says i do get busy at work sometimes. I have now offically lost 180. When I get into the 300 range I am going to a strip club to celebrate. My wife is taking me shopping this weekend because my clothes look really bad on me. They look realllllllly loose, my sweats look like harem pants.

The other day i went to the gym in our complex and got on the tredmill, and i can't believe that i actually walked a mile, and afterwards i lifted weights for like 45 mins. Geez what is happening to me?

Love you guys
Jim

been a while

2006-01-09T15:57:00.000-05:00

I know , I know, I should post more. I really haven't felt up to it lately. But now tht the holidays are over and we are back in school, ....and i am bored in front of a computer more, I should update often. I had my 6 month appointment with Dr.Husted in Nashville, and he seems pretty happy with the way things are going so far. I am down a total of 163 now in 6 months!!!!!! ya me!!!!

tuesday, Nov 29th

2005-11-29T14:06:00.000-05:00

Well thank goodness Turkey day is over! When most people were gaining weight over the holidays I actually lost weight. I am now at a total of 145 lost, and am not all that far from being at my half way mark already , and get this I am only 5 months post op as of 12-7-05. I am uber proud of myself. My wife is really proud of me also, and pretty soon I have to go and buy clothes or I will be running around naked, because my clothes will be falling off of me.

Hopefully X-mas on the Coast will go as well as the Turkey day in W.V, but i doubt it. The combination of my mother and seeing my mother in law are not what i would call thrilling. Don't get me wrong they can be nice people if taken in small doses.....very smalll doses. I will update when I get a chance this week, but not much exciting is going on, except for my wife's medical problems ...which if you want to know about that see her blog. I love her very much and she is the best thing to ever happen to me.

Love you baby

Jim

nov 17th

2005-11-17T16:07:00.000-05:00

Not much to post for the last 2 weeks. My wife has some medical issues, but if she wishes to reveal that info it is up to her. She hopefully knows that I love her more than life itself, and I will always be there for her no matter what. She has been my rock of stability and love, and I will be hers when and if she need it. I love you baby!

Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching and I for one am not really looking forward to it. Having to drive 3-4 hour to go see family is not my idea of a good time. How come they never drive to see us for the holidays? We have to split the holidays because my wife's family is divorced, so we swith x-mas and turkey day yeach year. This year it is turkey day with her dad where we will do x-mas early. It was really getting to be a pain in the ass when we had to drive from Greensboro, NC to West Verginia and then all the way down to Atlantic beach, nc to see her mom, and then drive home to Greensboro. We spent most of our school vacation on the road fighting traffic, and never got any rest. I think this might be a better solution?

Oh i Kinda started my business. Making chainmail jewelery and dice bags and stuff. My wife is working on the website for me now. The name is ursus ferrarius designs (Iron Bear designs), and hopefully soon I will have the site up and making a bit of money. Maybe

well Happy Turkey day to you all

Nov.10 happy B-Day to me

2005-11-10T17:28:00.000-05:00

Hi ya'll,

Welll it is official today I am a year older and more jaded. I turned 34 years old today...sigh..this sucks. On the bright side this morning as I was waking up my hunny came in with a mini cake( bout the size of a big cupcake) from Panera bread, and woke me up by pouncing on the bed and singing Happy B-day to me. I love that lil devil

Most people worry about getting old, I am not really all that concerned about it, 1 step closer to Social Security I suppose.

I am down approximately 137 lbs and am I think a bit of where i am supposed to be at this point.

Someone asked I had any negative feeling about my size before the surgery , and I said yes. I wrote these 2 poems about how I thought I was being judged. Let me Know what you think.

TRAPPED
I sit here
Inside a body that betrays me
Fights against my every effort
I stand hereIn constant pain
Gravity pulling me down
My leaden body aching
I walk here
Struggling to keep up
The pain searing through my every step
I no longer run here
These chains bind me fast
Restricting my efforts to escape
I kneel here
Brought to my knees, tears streaming
My once iron will now crumbled and broken
I lay here
Clawing and scratching to escape
My body a prison
Trapped within myself

JUDGEMENT
When you look at me
What do you see?
Have you already judged me?
Only from what you have seen?
I AM more than that!
You only see my shell, my shame
Inside is my true self
A diamond in the rough
I am clever, loving , loyal
If you took the time to know ME
I might be the most interesting person you've met
But still you judge by my shell
Can't seem to see past the visual
Looking at me with disgust
Dismissing me, Dehumanizing me
All without a spoken word to me

posting

2005-11-04T14:16:00.000-05:00

My wife demands that I post someting or on pain of death she will beat me within an inch of my life. SO...........................SOMETHING

Happy now Brandi
Kisses

Ok. Ok . I am posting already!!!!!

2005-11-02T16:44:00.000-05:00

I have been neglect in my duties here (as I have been remind my several people......grumble....Sara..Brandi...mummer..:P.. love you guys!). I had a super wow moment while shopping for clothes this weekend, because my pants are looking rather baggy and are about to fall off. And really I think that exposing my pasty white buttocks to the unsuspecting general populus would be considered a crime, if not against nature than at least against humanity. Yes, I have learned to laugh at myself, and I have to say it feels rather good. Better it being me laughing at myself than others laughing at me in mockery. But, now onto my tale!

My wife and I went to the Big Man clothing store on High Point Rd here in Greensboro. I tried on a smaller size than I usually do , and it was too big!!!!! I tried on a size even smaller and it fit, and was a bit big. So I lost 2 XL sizes in my pants ( damn that sounds dirty). I tried on a shirt and I went down a size in that as well.WOOOWWW!!!! Now the best part. My wife, just for giggles brought me a pair of jeans to the dressing room stall. I was sceptical at first, but i figured I'd give it a go. And to my shock and wonder , they actually fit!!!!!! And they weren't even the largest jeans they had in the store. I haven't had a pair of jeans to wear in over 10 years. Now when i sat down in then tenativly, they were a bit tight, but I say give me a month and they will be baggy. I was so thrilled i damn near danced out of the store.

I continued on elated for the rest of the day. Unusual for me, my wife says I am usually a Eyore (the depressed donkey from Winnie the pooh), Now I am Eyore on mood meds, and Prozak! I am almost , dare I say, perky! (shudder)

Oh also. My wife has been keeping track of my measurements. I added up all of my measurements and compared the difference. I have lost a total of 24.75 inches all over my body so far since july, 7, 2005. Not too shabby I must say!

Well , I am off for a bit. I promise I will try and write more in the future.

weighed today and was pleasently suprised

2005-10-25T16:20:00.000-05:00

I went to get weighed on monday and i was shocked , i was down 12 lbs since last week. WOW! I am losing fast, i am already sitting at over 1/3 of the total amount i want to lose and i am only 3 1/2 months post op. I am trying to get in more exercise everyday as well as getting in my protein and water requirements, not easy some days i have to say. Some days i feel like i am constantly eating but i know i'm not, I HAVE to eat every 3-4 hours, other wise when i do get to eat i might try to eat too much because i am starving and hurt myself.

I am feeling alot better all around, able to shuffle a good pace when I walk, can't really lift alot of weights anymore but i am trying. I really want to ride a bike soon, and i hope my knees cooperate

sucky week so far

2005-10-18T13:32:00.000-05:00

I got a tummy bug (thanks so much KIM:P), mom is in the hospital after having chest pains and numbness in her arm, mom's house is termite infested and Terminex is trying to weasel out of paying even thoughit is thier fault for not bothering to come out and inspect like they were supposed to for over 6 months. The whole thing with therminex is why mom is in the hospital, stress. I am worried but she has said not to come down because why drive down and have to drive right back up again. Mom Drives me nuts sometimes.

I am losing inches and weigh pretty quickly now, and if i don't act soon and buy some pants i am gonna be running around with them around my ankles. Scary image....shudder.

My mood swings are getting better thought Brandi doesn't seem to think so, but at least she knows that it is not my fault and doesn't take my lil fits to heart. Male PMS sucks!
lol

3rd month Anniversary

2005-10-12T16:00:00.000-05:00

Well I made it to my 3rd moth and got weighed. I am officially down 115 lbs. YAY me!!! My wife kidnapped me on Friday for fall break and took me to Myrtle Beach. She took me to Medevial Times for dinner and we had a blast. This is a combination anniversary/birthday/vacation for us, and I have to say we really needed it. We had so much fun!!!!

I weighed before we left and I was only 112 down, ad on this trip I know I didn't eat probably the most intelligently in the world, but still ended up losing 3 more lbs over the weekend. I think it was because of all the walking and stuff we did. We went to the Ripley's Aquarium on Sat, and later that night to Medieval Times. Sunday we went to Brookgreen gardens, a really beautiful garden with tons of sculptures and things to do. Later Sunday we made use of the hot tub at our hotel, cause I was hurting so bad, from all the walking and the rainy weather. I am glad we got a chance to get away and do this trip.

Update

2005-10-02T18:59:00.000-05:00

Well I have 1 week before my 3 month anniversary. I have currently lost a total of 104 lbs!!!! I am walking at night when I get off work, doesn't seem like much, but I am walking more and more and with less pain. I walked for an hour and a half in Costco with my wife and I only stopped to sit once, where usually I had to stop every few isles. I feel stronger, and I try on increase my exercise as much as I can, but some day(wet days) I just hurt too much to give the extra effort.

My legs are looking much better, all the spots that were affected by the edema are pretty much healed all up. My ankle and knees arn't hurting as much. I am pretty much happy with the way things are going overall.

Late posting, sorry been busy

2005-09-21T18:26:00.000-05:00

Hi all,

Its me again, not much to report. Life is pretty busy between working all the time , school and trying to have a semblance of a life. Saturday my wife Brandi and I went to the Greek fest over on Friendly Ave. Have to say it was wonderful as usual. I like Greek food even if i can only hold about 4 ozs. I walked all over the place and hardly got winded at all, YAY! I am pleased with the way i am going along. I have now reached my 100 lbs mark, and i am thrilled, not bad for 2 1/2 months huh?

Well i will write soon , i promise
hugs
Jim

Weighted and a bit more relieved

2005-09-06T15:05:00.000-05:00

I got weighed today and called in for my 2 month appointment with Dr. Husted. I lost all of the excess weight when I was retaining fluid PLUS 5 more LBS. Not really happy that I now only have a total of 95 gone in 2 months, I really wanted more. BUt I can see things are going good, even with the delays.

The doctor said I am now off all restriction except the one about the pool, at least until the hole and drainage are healed in my navel. YES! I am still leaking fluid, ick! But at least now I can go to the Gym in our apartment complex and work out with the heavier weight, no more 10 lb restriction!!!!!!

I was told I am doing great even if I don't think so. I figured if I hadn't lost any more weight I had at least lost inches. I am down 5 inches in my chest, 3 in my waist, not bad, not bad.

Hope the cool weather won't slow me down, that would suck

Shocked, Very disappointed

2005-08-20T14:43:00.000-05:00

With all the bad weather lately, I noticed that my left leg and calf were swelling a bit with excess fluid. This usually happens when the weater turns from warm and sunny to wet and nasty. The barometric pressure usually makes my joints swell and ache. But what I am most concerned about is after Iwent to the Nutritionist office today and got weighed. Not only had I not lost any weight but I had Gained 15-20 lbs. I talked to my Dr in Nashville and told him what i had been eating. He said the nuts i was eating to try and get in my protein had too much sodium and was making me retain water weigh, along with the weather. SO now i have cut WAY back on my nut intake , even if they are a great source of protein.

Still I am not going to take this sitting down (as it were), I am going to cut back on anything that might be impeading my progress. As of today I am will try to drink nothing but Crystal Lite, or water. I will eat my protein with as little sodium as possible. I will increase my excercise and walk more, once in the evening walk extra throughout the day, and walk and lift weights before I go to bed. I will begin a food journal detailing everything that goes in my mouth.

I hope to get reweighed before Sept 7th, hopefully I will have lost the excess as well as a bit more. I am glad it was only something minor, and I stopped my habits before it became something much more dangerous. I was really worried about this. I definately don't wanna put the weight back on.

Sad

2005-08-18T18:05:00.000-05:00

I got an e-mail from a friend, and i don't usually check that account much. I was shocked to hear that a friend of our from high school had died of cancer while I was away in Nashville having surgery. Woody said that apparently she had gone in for this several times before. I am shocked, Christina was only 33 years old. She will be greatly missed, I had hoped to see her and her husband at the 20 year reunion.

Sorry I am at a loss here.... She was one of the few girls in middle, and high school who treated me with respect and friendship. Always a beautiful girl , she was a good student, a cheerleader, and an all around nice human being. Too few word to describe a life time..........

I can only hope I leave behind people who love and remember me in a kindly manner.

you will be missed. may you find the peace in the afterlife you were denied in life.

Back to school and work

2005-08-16T17:15:00.000-05:00

Well I am back, but i think i overestimated my abilities this semester. I have 4 classes and about 30 hours of work. My classes are really spread out and it take me forever to walk there. After my first class i have a 2 1/2 break, instead of waiting around campus I felt so bad I went home and took a nap. Came back to campus and went to my next class. This one was blocked off on 3 sides so I had to walk all the way around the library to get to it. Then I picked up Brandi and took her home before I had to go to work. We had to stop and get a gatorade for me cause I was about to pass out from the heat and strain. I got to work and having downed most of my gatorade , felt a bit better, gritty but better. I was exhausted at work, dozed off several times.

I think I am gonna have to drop 1 of my classes, I don't think I have the stamina yet to do everything I want to do. But I am getting better day by day

JIm

One month weigh in!!!!!!

2005-08-09T20:25:00.000-05:00

I got weighed today and I have to say how proud I am of myself. I lost an additional 23 or so lbs this month, that brings my total for 1 month to 90 LBS. I say again 90 LBS in 1 month. WOW!!!!!!!

I feel better, still tired as I try to work up my stamina. I have to try and force in my 80 grams of protein a day , and it is very hard. I get my 32 ozs of water pretty much no problem , as i am thirsty most of the time. I get around by my self now. I even went out driving by myself.

Start to work on Friday, and am a bit worried about long hours at work and school.Glad my bosses understand that I need water in my lab at all times. Usually it is restricted inthe computer labs and i had to get special permission from my DR before i could be allowed to have it in there.

Trying to get in my excercise as much as possible, but I tell you what I know for sure if I overdo it. I came home from an outing with my wife, and I was exhausted. I took a 4 hour nap.

If you all have any questions ask away

Jim

Night before leaving Nashville

2005-07-26T10:31:00.000-05:00

Ok, last blog before we leave Nashville. Today was my follow up appointment with Dr. Husted. I didn't sleep that well the night before because I was stressing out. Brandi and I went in a bit early and were hanging out in the waiting room. We finally got called in and I went to be weighed. Since my surgery on July 7th, I have lost 67 pounds, can you believe that? I almost got off the scale and asked the nurse to make sure it was working right. I was floored!!!

The doctor comes in and says it is mostly just water/fluid loss. I don't care so long as it's gone! He also said the weight loss will slow down so don't be discouraged. They want me to lose about 180 more. But I am thinking I can beat that. Hell, at 180 pounds to go, and a 'sweetspot' time to lose the weight at 18 months, I think I can kill 10 pounds a month at this rate. I feel great. I walk so much easier, still getting tired easy, but that will pass in time.

Man, I feel good.

Hopefully everything goes well tomorrow

2005-07-25T18:52:00.000-05:00

Well, if all goes well with the follow up appointment, we should be leaving on the 27th. And I must say I can hardly wait to hit the road and get the hell outta this place. I have never been so bored in my entire life. We ventured out yesterday to go to movies, and it was an adventure to say the least. We went to the IMAX theatre here in nashville and it was fun, but the need more benches , man that was a long walk!!!! We got to see Willy Wonka on the really big screen and it was pretty funny. I can only hope that we have a follow up appointment here when Harry Potter comes out , that would be awsome on IMAX.

Hopefully tomorrow I get these Staples out and they can see if this leaking is normal or not. I wanna go home, i miss my my kitties and friends.

Hopefully we can alll get together when we get home and do something, I don't promise much, cause I don't have much endurance. I 'll show if you will

Love
Jim

Sorry for not posting lately

2005-07-19T17:58:00.000-05:00

Hi Everyone,

Jim here once again, Sorry for the long absence from posting. I have had good and bad days. I am doing pretty well. I am alot more mobile than I expected, but i have little stamina. We only have internet access in the lobby/lounge of the hotel, so this has been about one of the few days I have been comfortable enough to do my exercising and finda good chair to sit in and type. From all myhoney says surgery went fine, except for the small problems in the ICU afterwards. I have pretty cut out my pain killers unless i overdo it, which isn't often, because i am very aware of my limits.

I wanted to take a sec to thank Woody and Sara, Steve and Cam, and Kent for looking after the monster kitties, Man i miss those misfits.

I am still on pureed foods, and have to say it really sucks! I have about another week before i go to soft foods. And I can't wait!!! We have my follow up appointment wiyh Dr. Husted on the 26th of July, and he should take out the staples and see how the incision is healing. I am trying to be pretty much self sufficient, but still need Brandi to help me sometimes. It is completely embarassing and feel like a small child sometimes. To be so helpless is a humbling thing i have to say. We all try to think that we don't really need anyone else, but when something happens to us we find out how much that is so completely wrong.

I will try to update more often as I am able, but I can make few promises, because it will all depend on how I feel that day.

Love you all,

Jim

P.S
I LOVE MY HUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!

Last Surgery Update! YAY!

2005-07-12T23:38:00.000-05:00

Brandi here again, for the last time Jim is not writing his own blog! :D :

Jim is now out of the hospital. We were just about ready to believe it wasn't possible. He's upstairs now, resting mostly comfortably while I type this and let various wonderful and supportive individuals know how things are going. We had some adventures in the hospital, which I'll get into later when I'm not about ready to fall out of my chair asleep, some good, some not so good and some downright awful. Needless to say, we are both very happy and relieved that he is now in a more comfortable and attentive atmosphere.He's having some pain. Most of it is to be expected. Some of it is because I couldn't get his pain meds to him on time, so the pain had caught up to him and wore him out. He's doing well though, and will probably be able to converse with anyone and everyone just fine tomorrow. If you are so inclined, give us a call at one of our numbers and find out! :D We'll be making the varied calls tomorrow as well, to the people who called to lend their support or wanted us to give them a call, but we just hadn't gotten to yet, because of the crazy situation here and the fact that I'm just so doggone tired that I couldn't seem to get to the internet for a couple days at a time to get their numbers (sorry! :( ). Things will get better from here on out, I'm sure, and before too much longer, Jim will be updating his blog himself and I'm sure he'll have many interesting things to say about his stay in the hospital (I know I do).Anyways, that's just about all for right now- more later, when I've had a decent nights sleep that consists of more than two or three hours at a time, and that fitful. G'night!

Latest Surgery Update

2005-07-10T23:34:00.000-05:00

Brandi here, again:

Whew, sorry it took me so long to get back to the internet- this sucks only having it available in the lobby. The upswing of that, though, is that I get to meet and talk to a lot of interesting people while I type up this blog or work on email. Unfortunately, I only get to the web about once a day (or less), because I'm too busy with Jim or trying to catch up on much needed rest. Please forgive me if I don't respond right away- I'm trying to answer everyone's email as it comes, and trying to keep you all as updated as I can, but I want to spend as much time as I can with Jim in the hospital too, so my resources are a tad stretched.

Jim is doing really well. He may be able to get out of the hospital Tuesday, if he keeps doing as well as he has been. He's breathing well, on his own, getting up and moving around, on his own (well, ok, a little help getting up and down), and he's got every tube out of him now, except for his I.V. The doctor lowered the amount of fluid he's intaking now, through the I.V., so it's now more essential than ever that he gets all his fluids as much as possible. He's also doing his breathing exercises with something called an incentive spirometer, and getting better at them.

That's about it for now. I'll give you another update as soon as I have one.

Surgery update 3

2005-07-09T15:00:00.000-05:00

Brandi here again....

Jim is now in a regular room (did I say that already?) and is doing fine. He's talking well, breathing well on his own, though they still are giving him some oxygen to make it easier for him. He's not quite getting the volume of air that they want yet, but he's getting better. They've changed his pain meds because the morphine wasn't quite doing it for him. He's able to talk to anybody that wants to call (if you want us to call you, let me know- we have nationwide roaming, so we don't mind at all). He could use all the good cheer and friendly words he can get. That's about it for now... need sleep....

Surgery Update 2

2005-07-08T19:16:00.000-05:00

Brandi here, with another update for Jim:

If you haven't heard by the other various sources (thanks guys) Jim is doing well. He's out of the ICU and breathing normally, all on his own. He's in pain and a tad nauseous, but they gave him stuff for that, so he's doing better and was sleeping when I left to go to the hotel for a shower break. I'm staying with him tonight. He won't be up to talking tonight, possibly will be tomorrow, but feel free to call if you want to anyways. I have the phone with me. I won't get any email notes till tomorrow, but I have been telling him everything, how much love and support he's getting from so many people. Thank you, so, so much.
Brandi

Surgery Update

2005-07-07T22:54:00.000-05:00

Brandi here with an update on Jim's surgery:

Jim is now in the ICU. They were late on getting him started because the surgery scheduled before his took longer than they expected. So, instead of taking him back to anesthesia at 11, the scheduled surgery time, it was 12:30 when I left him in the care of the anesthestists. They had to intibate him while he was awake because they were unable to see the back of his throat. That took a bit longer than they expected. It was about four o'clock when they actually got him into the O.R. The doctor came out and told us what was going on about 7 (I had gotten a couple calls in the meantime telling me he was still in surgery and he was o.k.). I didn't get to see him til about 9:30. Apparently, Jim had had some trouble breathing in the operating room. The doc said, however, that he wasn't the easiest patient they've ever had and he wasn't the hardest, so I'm taking that to mean that he didn't have nearly as many complications as he could have. They did, however, have to put him on the ventilator for the rest of the night. Hopefully, they should be able to remove the breathing tube tomorrow. While I was with him in the ICU, he was fretting about it a lot (he has a bad gag reflex and is very cloisterphobic around his face) and getting himself worked up (when he was awake) so they attempted to see how he would breathe on his own. When he was awake, he was doing fine, but the problem was that as soon as he drifted off to sleep (it now being 10:30 at night), he stopped breathing, or his breathing slacked off to very little. So, against his will I told them to keep the tube in overnight and we'd try it again in the morning. They gave him sedation and something to keep him from choking and coughing, and when I left him, he was breathing fine and resting about as comfortably as one can expect for someone in the ICU and having just had their insides rearranged. I am going to attempt to stay the night at the hotel, though I will be calling to check on him frequently though the night and will return in the morning. I will give everyone an update here as soon as I can. Keep checking back.

Preliminary testing done

2005-07-03T21:18:00.000-05:00

Well we made it to Nashville ok, and I went for my preliminary testing. Really have to say it sucked!!!! After a 12 hour trip, my legs and feet were really swollen, and I had to take somrthing to get rid of excess fluid. I ended upstaying up , peeing my guts out all night, and I wasn't allowed anything but clear fluids after midnight. My last meal was at 5 pm, so ended up not eating until everything was through, 24 hours later.

We got to the hospital at 8:30 and after checking in I was taken back to X-ray, and had many shots done for a upper GI. I ended up having 15-16 X-rays and drinking about three glasses of Barium ( PINA COLDA flavored YUCK), then back to the Diagnostic center. From there I went for my Venus doppler, (basically the do a radar scan on my legs to make sure there are no clots, or problem areas). Had the dumbass volenteer walking me over, we walker tothe other side of the hospital at a quick pace with no breaks, and she has the nerve to ask me if I always breathed that heavy!!!! No Shit nimrod, I was in pain!!! I got set in a room and was told tostrip and put and a towel and lie on this table. This woman came in witha nurse and put coldgel on the indide of my legs and did her tests. After a lot of pain from where she was poking me in painful and sensitive areas, I headed back to the Diagnostic Center.

All that done, we headed down stairs to the pre admitting to fill out paperwork and pay for the surgery. The hospital alone was around $25,000. We got seated back in the waiting area and told we would be seen shortly. In a few mins we got called back and,had moretests run ( blood work, EKG, pulse, urine sample) Usual stuff. THe lady giving the EKG told me a story about and older woman about 90 years old. She siad that the elderly lady never said a word until shewas about to put the clips on the electrodes under her sagging breasts. The lady piped up and said in a slow drawl. "Now yoube careful where you put those, I haven't had THAT kind of excitement in a long time". As she told me this I about rolled on the floor!!!!!

Now with that done we head ove rto Dr. Husted's office to give him my living will, and POA( power of Attorney), and goto the Nutritionist seminar in his office. We prepay for the doctors fee (8100$) ,and still have to pay for the Anethesiologist ( another $ 2900 i think) , and buy my suppliments I am gonna need for the next 2 months. We finally get out of allthis at 4:30 pm. It has now been about 24 hours since I last ate, and am starving. We leave and getsomething to eat back at the hotel, and take a nap, as we are now completely exhausted.

Tomorrow

2005-06-27T16:41:00.000-05:00

Well we leave on the 29th , and will spend all day tomorrow packing everything to go. We have good friends looking after our kitties, and everything should go well. I can't sleep from worrying, and my hunny tells me I need to relax. But for some reason I just can't seem to, you know.

June 28 is approaching fast

2005-06-23T18:49:00.000-05:00

Man, I can't believe how time flies when you are busy. We now have only a few days before we leave for this trip. I can't sleep very well from anticipation, and I am starting to snap a lil at my hunny ( sorry baby!). I still can't stop thinking about all the "what ifs", and honestly it scares the hell outta me. I have never been a person who really lets their inner feelings be known, but to tell you the truth, I could really use some hugs, guys! I have pretty much quit drinking sodas and have moved to Crystal Light and water. One of the reasons I am cranky is caffine withdrawl- again, sorry baby!

I just want to say that I love all of you. I hope everything goes well and we will see you when we get back. We are taking our cell phones and will have local coverage while we are there, so if you need/want to check on us, give us a call.

Had a good time this weekend

2005-06-20T20:19:00.000-05:00

We went out with friends this Friday night to a place called Solaris. I am pleasantly surprised. They had tapas or basically appetizers. We ordered a bunch of stuff and shared and then we ordered different stuff. I like to think we all had a good time. Then on Saturday we went to see Brandi's dad. We brought him a bunch of fireworks and he really enjoyed them. Now the bad part..... while at her dad's, I was flipping channels when they went out for a bit. I came across a surgery site...and the surgery that I am gonna have. As soon as I saw the first cut I changed the channel and now I can't get the image out of my head. I am majorly nervous now. I know I will be alright but I can't help stress this, you know?

My father-in-law and his girlfriend are sooo sweet. When we got there with Melvin's father's day present, they had gifts for us. Matching warm up suits. And mine might even fit, can't imagine where they went shopping to get one big enough for me. God, I love those guys, they are too sweet, even if Melvin does love to harass me.

Just wanna send hugs to the following people: Melvin, Geneva, Brandi, Cam, Steve, Sara, and Woody (promise you woody I won't actually hug you!).

Getting tired

2005-06-16T17:02:00.000-05:00

Thursday: I am starting to feel pretty run down. I can't seem to get to sleep until late, really late, and then I have to be up in the morning so we can go run errands. I am getting about 4 hours a night now I guess. And at this moment I feel like I could use a serious nap. I don't wanna get cranky with people, so i take a slow breath before I have to deal with stupid adolescent students at UNCG. I am kinda excited; I might get to go out with some friends on Friday night to a new lil resturant. Woody said that Solaris was a nice lil club that served good food. We wanted to get together with our friends 1 last time before we head out on this trip. And this looks like our best bet. Hopefully all will go well and we will have a good time.

Saturday: We are heading up to WV to see my father-in-law, Melvin. He is a super guy, with a very twisted sense of humor. He is, dare I say it, even more twisted that I am. We will be in Nashville during the Fourth of July, so we are gonna go up and celibrate early. Also this will probably be the last time I see him and his lady friend Geneva, until after the surgery.

THANKS GUYS

2005-06-15T18:56:00.000-05:00

I wanted to take a moment to thank Woody, Sara, Rob, Cam, Steve, Matt, and most especially my wife Brandi. Woody and Rob helped me out today by being my witnesses for some important documents in case something goes wrong. Woody is also gonna be the person next in line if my wife is unable to make decisions about my health and in case disaster strikes. Sara is taking pics of me to add to the blog eventually, and she might help me publish something in the way of an article for all the men who need support with this surgery. Cam and Steve and Matt have offered to be there for me if I need anything, even if it is just to talk. AND my wife, Brandi......My gods how do I even begin to say thank you for all the things you have done for me? You are my emotional rock that I cling to. I love you more every day.

Once again THANKS GUYS, I LOVE YA.

Stressing life and running out of time

2005-06-13T17:00:00.000-05:00

We have so much running around to do and finalize a bunch of things before we head out to Nashville, couple of more weeks to go and I hope we have enough time. I am beginning to feel like an egomaniac, everything is about me. I am usually a reserved shy person, now I have to tell everyone about my life on this blog. I feel like I am saying look at me!!!! I am really surprised at how many people are interested in my life and health. I hope the things I write about will help any other men out there that are thinking of having this kind of surgery. Most of the support groups are for women, as 9 out of 10 people who seem to have this surgery are women. Men just don't have the support, don't know why, maybe we are just too ashamed to admit that we actually need help from someone else. I guess it is just testosterone poisoning, makes us think we are invincible.

I wrote some bad poetry lately thought I might share it with you all. This is how I feel sometimes.

TRAPPED

I sit here
Inside a body that betrays me
Fights against my every effort

I stand here
In constant pain
Gravity pulling me down
My leaden body aching

I walk here
Struggling to keep up
The pain searing through my every step

I no longer run here
These chains bind me fast
Restricting my efforts to escape

I kneel here
Brought to my knees, tears streaming
My once iron will now crumbled and broken

I lay here
Clawing and scratching to escape
My body a prison
Trapped within myself

JUDGEMENT

When you look at me
What do you see?
Have you already judged me
Only from what you have seen?

I AM more than that
You only see my shell, my shame
Inside is my true self
A diamond in the rough

I am clever, loving , loyal
If you took the time to know ME
I might be the most interesting person you've met
But still you judge by my shell

Can't seem to see past the visual
Looking at me with disgust
Dismissing me, Dehumanizing me
All without a spoken word

Let me know what you think about this, because this is how I feel. The first poem relates how I feel inside this body and how much I hate it. The second poem is giving my point of view on how bigger people get treated in our society today. We are looked at as second hand citizens, not as good as everyone else because we are different. Most people make the assumption that if you are large you do nothing but eat ALL day. That is wrong. No one wants to ask what the underlying causes are, they just want to dismiss you and go about thier business. Do you have any idea how embarassing it is to go to a doctors office and EVERY single chair has arms and the chairs are to small for you to sit in? And you have to stand there, in pain, while you wait for them to call you in. I went in one day to the urgent care and I had to do this. I got back to the room and they took my BP and told me it was high- well no shit. I was made to wait 25 minutes on 2 fucked up knees and a fucked up ankle and everything was screaming at me as we FINALLY got to go in. SO yeah i guess my BP was up. My knees damn near buckled as I tried to get on the lil table. I wanted to scream, but I bit my tongue. How would YOU feel if you had some kind of disability and they made you abuse it? And then to be insulted by a doctor as soon as they come in, "You need to lose weight." Well guess what asshole, I am trying and you are not helping.

Sorry for the rant, I am in pain right now and I am short tempered.

Feelings and a bit of my past

2005-06-09T19:40:00.000-05:00

I have my best friend's wife helping me with this project (she will remain nameless until I get her permission to use it in here). She wants me to give a bit of a history about myself and talk about my feelings and expectations. Please forgive this poor writer because I don't think I have the skill to say what needs to be said, but I will do my humble best.

I grew up on the coast of N.C, in a town called Newport. It wasn't the biggest place in the world but it is where my parents had chosen to raise the three of us. I have one older brother, Jerry (now deceased), and one older sister, Evelyn (just brain dead at times). My father was a retired military man and my mother was pretty much a stay at home provider, but worked when we had harder times. I am the youngest of the three children and always had to be on my best behavior because my hellion siblings had done it all before me so my parents were always comparing me or judging me against them. I started getting heavy probably around 3rd grade I guess, probably because Mom loved to cook for Dad, and it was low country cooking he loved the best. And when I say low country, I mean simple but hearty meals from when he was raised on a farm and had to have the energy to work the field before and after school. I was always a shy kid, tried not to be too obnoxious. I made few friends but the ones I made I tried to keep. Being a bigger kid meant I had less opportunities to get girlfriends, I was a cuddly friend PERIOD. So you can guess I had low self esteem. I got picked on a lot as a big kid too, until they saw that when I got tired of being timid I would finally fight back, scared a few people when I did that.

I got to High school and pretty much hated it. My best friend joined football, but I didn't have the grades or a vehicle to get to practice and my parents were too busy to take me even if I did. I kept getting bigger over the years, probably 55 lbs or more by now. The few girlfriends I had only used me, I was nothing to them. I started getting more and more depressed. High school was hell for me, and I tried to kill myself several times. I worked several jobs, some more physically demanding than the others, and started getting injured. I messed up my knees pretty bad over the years and this also contributed to the weight gain. I was BIG and STRONG, but if you don't have as much energy going out as you take in, the weight piles on. Doctors told me excercise to lose weight and diet, well no shit, like I never tried that. How likely are you to go running or something when the cartilage in your knees is gone and it is bone rubbing bone? Hurts like a bitch, it does. I have always heard from the doctors lose weight, lose weight. Here is an idea, treat me for my flu, don't preach about my weight. I was told by Dr. Husted that after a certain weight your metabolism actually works against you. I have dieted, restricted calories, excercised, but my body panics and thinks I am starving it, so it hoards every calorie I intake. Kinda hard to lose that way, huh?

Right now I am scared as hell that something is gonna go wrong. I don't wanna leave my wife of almost six years a widow. What if I die, what if I have a heart attack on the table, or slip into a coma, or become incapacitated for life? This is more frightening then any thing I have ever done. People think this is an easy decision, that I am taking the easy way out. To those people I say BITE ME. This is a last resort, because no other option has worked. They plan on cutting me open from sternum to belly button and juggling my insides with a scalpel. I do not do this lightly, and I see this as my best and ONLY option so I can live a longer life. Otherwise the weight would start causing other issues in my body, i.e. high blood pressure, diabetes, heart problems, stroke, to name a few. I sit here on a daily basis and stress this operation, but I think it is still for the best.

Surgery date change

2005-06-07T17:54:00.000-05:00

Last night we got a call from the doctors office on my voice mail saying we needed to call them. My surgery date has been moved up to July 7th instead of July 14th, because the Dr will be on vacation from July 12-22. NOW Brandi and I have to rearrange everything, have to call the hotel and make changes, have to call the HR dept at work to make sure Brandi has the time off and have a job when she gets back, etc , etc.

To top everything off I am now sick with some kinda chest thing. I have to work hard to get rid of this and make sure it doesn't turn into pneumonia cause that will only cause more delays. Brandi and I are now gonna be in Nashville for a month. We have to go up for preliminary stuff on June 30th, so why drive 10 hours back and then have to turn around in a few days and drive 10 more hours. We have a friend who will look after our cats and stuff, but , and I really hate to say this, I will actually miss the lil deamons. My wife is gonna miss those cats; they love her to death.

Well off to see if I can make heads or tails of my life. I will update soon as I can

Explaination

2005-06-06T18:55:00.000-05:00

Hi All,

My name is Jim R. and I was told I needed to start this blog to document what I am doing in my life and how it will be changing. To start off, I am an overweight white male from rural N.C. now living in Greensboro with the most wonderful woman a man could be married to, my wife Brandi.

I was made an offer a while back to see if I wanted to have Gastric Bypass Surgery and, after long thought and consideration, I have decided to have the procedure. Please don't think this was taken lightly, because there is a chance that I could die from this procedure. I have been overweight all my life and since I have hurt my knees and messed up my ankle the weight has only increased. I can't get around to excercise as much as I need to because my knees and ankle are in too much pain and now I have to get around with a cane. I feel like this surgery will give me back my mobility and let me start living my life again. Without it I would continue getting sick, maybe even becoming diabetic or have a heart attack. I am having the DS or Duodenal Switch (* note at bottom of page with explaination).

I have so far gotten just about everything done so I can have the surgery. I started out trying to go to a Dr. G in Winston Salem, N.C., but the hospital that he works out of changed thier policies and no longer offers the procedure that I want to have done. When I received the call saying I was refused I was devastated, I immediately called my wife telling her I was refused, crying on the phone. We did some more research and found another doctor.

This time we went with Dr. John Husted in Nashville, TN. This doctor not only does this procedure, he also has a very low mortality rate (1000 patients, and only 2 deaths, and they were from complications). My wife and I drove the nearly 10 hour trip to Nashville to go to his seminar and then have a meeting with him later that day. We got to the seminar (glad we left the hotel early, because Nashville is one of the most confusing cities to try and navigate) and chit-chatted with the other nervous people in the room before the seminar began. Dr Husted and his partner Dr. Al Spaw then came in and started the power point presentation. After the 2 1/2 hour presentation we had some time to kill and got a bite to eat.

We arrived back at Dr.Husted's office @ 2:30 to have my exam and to see if I would be a good candidate for the surgery. Well someone screwed up and our appointment wasn't until 4:30 so we ended up filing out paperwork in the hallway and I kept trying to be funny to ease the tension. We finally got in to see Dr.Husted and after a lengthy exam he asked a lot of questions and finally said I was a good candidate for surgery. He wants me to come back for preliminary tests on June 30 and, if there are no problems, I go back for the surgery on July 14.

(*The BPD/DS combines restrictive and malabsorptive elements to achieve and maintain the best reported long-term percentage of excess weight loss among modern weight-loss surgery procedures.
The Restrictive ComponentThe BPD/DS procedure includes a partial gastrectomy, which reduces the stomach along the greater curvature, effectively restricting its capacity while maintaining its normal functionality.
Unlike the unmodified BPD and RNY, which both employ a gastric ÂpouchÂ and bypass the pyloric valve, the DS procedure keeps the pyloric valve intact. This eliminates the possibility of dumping syndrome, marginal ulcers, stoma closures and blockages, all of which can occur after other gastric bypass procedures.
In addition, unlike the unmodified BPD and RNY procedures, the DS procedure keeps a portion of the duodenum in the food stream. The preservation of the pylorus/duodenum pathway means that food is digested normally (to an optimally absorbable consistency) in the stomach before being excreted by the pylorus into the small intestine. As a result, the DS procedure enables more-normal absorption of many nutrients (including protein, calcium, iron and vitamin B12) than is seen after other gastric bypass procedures.
The Malabsorptive ComponentThe malabsorptive component of the BPD/DS procedure rearranges the small intestine to separate the flow of food from the flow of bile and pancreatic juices. This inhibits the absorption of calories and some nutrients. Further down the digestive tract, these divided intestinal paths are rejoined; food and digestive juices begin to mix, and limited fat absorption occurs in the common tract as the food continues on its path toward the large intestine.

HistoryThe standalone Duodenal Switch procedure (without the accompanying gastric bypass as used in weight-loss surgery) was originally devised by Tom R. DeMeester, M.D. to treat bile gastritis, a condition in which the stomach and esophagus are burned by bile. In 1988, Dr. Douglas Hess of Bowling Green, Ohio, was the first surgeon to combine the DS with the Biliopancreatic Diversion (BPD) form of obesity surgery. This hybrid procedure, known as the Biliopancreatic Diversion with Duodenal Switch (or the Distal Gastric Bypass with Duodenal Switch), solves many nutritional problems associated with other forms of WLS, and allows a magnificent eating quality when compared to other WLS procedures. )